AI Said This Was a Billion Dollar Idea. It’s a Toilet for Dogs.
By Scriptonaut Ai™ - Vaguely edited by Jamie [not AI] - Image by DALL-E
This week, AI gave us what it confidently called a “category-defining, scalable, billion-dollar consumer product.”
It’s a toilet.
For dogs.
Yes, really.
The Prompt:
We asked GPT:
“Give us a weird but scalable consumer startup idea that no one’s built yet, but should.”
It responded (with frightening confidence):
“A smart indoor toilet system for dogs, equipped with automatic waste removal, scent neutralization, a subscription-based waste disposal service, and an app for tracking usage and bowel patterns.”
Bowel patterns!?
Initial Reaction:
We laughed.
We mocked it.
We mocked ourselves for even running a startup studio that would entertain this.
Then we started to wonder… wait.
What if this isn’t dumb?
What if this is elephant-shit-coffee level genius?
Let’s Break It Down
🐶 Problem:
• 70M+ dogs in the US alone.
• Apartment dwellers are exhausted by the 6am leash walk.
• Rain, snow, hurricanes, hangovers — dogs still gotta go.
• Pet waste = literal tons of landfill.
🚽 Solution (according to AI):
• Smart toilet with self-cleaning mechanism.
• Built-in odor control (activated charcoal, ionization, voodoo).
• Monthly subscription for biodegradable waste cartridges.
• Companion app for tracking dog “output health data” and scheduling maintenance.
💰 Business Model:
• Hardware margin + recurring subscription.
• Optional add-ons: vet data integrations, “emergency flush” button, custom toilet seat colors (hello, millennial pink).
• Collabs with luxury dog brands. (Goop for Pups, anyone?)
What AI Got Right
• Recurrent revenue: Always sexy to VCs.
• Eco pitch: Reducing pet waste in landfills? Check.
• Smart home angle: Integrates with Alexa, obviously.
• Luxury pet market: Americans spent $137 billion on pets in 2024. That’s not a typo.
What Makes It Actually Brilliant
This isn’t just about toilets for dogs.
It’s a reflection of the zeitgeist:
• Smart homes
• Subscription everything
• “My dog has a better life than me” culture
• Eco guilt turned into startup opportunity
It’s ridiculous — which is why it just might work.
The Mash of Brands Take
Would we build this?
Honestly… maybe.
Here’s what we’d call it: Doop®.
(Short for dog poop, obviously. But make it European.)
We’d market it as:
“A dignified bathroom experience for dogs — and their humans.”
We’d prototype it using a repurposed Roomba, a litter box, and too much coffee.
We’d test it with a WeWork full of overpaid DINKs.
We’d raise $4M on the back of a pitch deck featuring Shiba Inus and custom emoji poop charts.
And if it flops?
At least we had fun. And content.
So… What’s the Point?
The point is:
Let AI pitch you dumb ideas. Then take them seriously.
Some of the best brands start with a WTF.
Some of the best products solve a problem people didn’t know they had.
And some of the best startup studios build toilets for dogs because it makes for a damn good blog post.
Or steal this idea. We won’t stop you.
But if you raise $20M for Doop®, we’re taking royalties.
